如何写剧本对白：潜台词与括号提示
如何写有潜台词的剧本对白，而不是把话说得太直白。角色名提示、括号提示、鲜明的个人声音，以及 The Night Ferry 中的一次真实改写。
在这一课中你将学到
- 角色名提示、对白和括号提示如何配合使用
- ScreenWeaver 如何推荐已有角色，并在角色名和对白之间切换
- 什么时候括号提示有帮助，为什么用太多反而有害
- 如何写潜台词，而不是把话说得太直白
- 如何删减台词、保持简短，并给每个角色一个鲜明的个人声音
- 什么时候使用转场和镜头元素
这一课讲如何写剧本对白，它建立在三个总是一起出现的元素之上：角色名提示、对白，有时还有括号提示。你会看到 ScreenWeaver 如何在你输入时推荐已有角色，随手创建新角色，并用 Enter 键在角色名和对白之间切换。
然后是手艺：为什么括号提示应该少用；当两个角色看似在争论时间时，潜台词是如何起作用的；以及 The Night Ferry 中一段过于直白的告白，如何被改写成一个动作加两个词：“嗨，爸爸。” 你会学到少说一点，让台词保持简短，把它们大声读出来，并给每个角色一个鲜明的个人声音。这一课最后讲转场和镜头元素，两者都要节制使用，以及每个角色只用一个名字的规则。
完整文字稿
英语旁白的文字稿。
0:04Now the voices. Dialogue in a screenplay is made of three elements that always travel together. The character cue, the dialogue, and sometimes a parenthetical.
0:15Choose character in the toolbar and type the name. Maya. While you type, Screenweaver suggests the characters that already exist. If the name is new, the list offers to create it. Confirm, and Maya is added to your characters. Press Enter, and the editor switches to dialogue on its own.
0:37Type her line. Wait, please. I need to cross tonight. Press Enter at the end of a line of dialogue, and the editor switches back to character, ready for the answer. Elias. No passengers after midnight. Back and forth, like a conversation.
0:56Now the parenthetical. A short note in brackets under the name on how a line is said, or what the character does while saying it. Elias. Sighing. Get in. Don't touch anything. Use them rarely. If every line has a parenthetical, none of them matters. Let the words and the actions carry the tone.
1:19What makes dialogue good? Subtext. People rarely say what they mean. Listen to this exchange. It's two minutes past. That's after midnight. On the surface, they're arguing about the time. Underneath, he's lonely and stubborn, and she's desperate. We understand both without anyone saying it.
1:42Let's rewrite an on -the -nose line. First draft. Maya. I'm your daughter, and I came back because I miss you, and I'm sorry I left. Everything is said, so nothing is felt. The rewrite? Right? She doesn't answer. She sets the compass on the dashboard next to his. Then, only when he says her name, Hi, Dad. Two words do what the long line couldn't, because the audience gets there first.
2:12A good test for any scene. Could the characters say less? Cut every line you can, then put back only the ones the scene can't live without. He'll be surprised how often silence, a look, or an object does the work better.
2:28Keep lines short. Real people speak in fragments. Interrupt each other, and avoid the question. Read every line out loud. If it sounds like a sentence from a book, cut it in half.
2:41And make every character sound different. Elias speaks in short, closed sentences. Long enough. Not tonight. Come on. Maya speaks in questions and half answers. If you cover the names and can still tell who's speaking, your dialogue is working.
3:00Two more elements to use sparingly. Transitions, like fade in, cut to, or fade out, mark the passage between scenes. Modern scripts use very few. A fade in at the start, a fade out at the end. And the shot element, to call out a specific angle, like a close -up on the compass, only when the story depends on it.
3:22One last rule. The same is for places. Write each name exactly the same way, every time. Maya is always Maya. A different spelling creates a different character, and later, a different face on screen.
3:37Your exercise. Write the dialogue of your first scene. Short lines, one parenthetical at most, and at least one exchange with subtext. Next, we'll put it all together. Keyboard only.