如何写动作描述：写摄影机看到的东西
如何在剧本中写动作描述：现在时，只写摄影机看到的东西，短段落，有力的动词。然后看一份糟糕的初稿被逐行修改。
在这一课中你将学到
- 为什么动作描述是剧本中最重要、也最常被误解的文本行
- 如何用现在时写作，并且只写摄影机或麦克风能捕捉到的东西
- 如何用短段落在银幕上制造节奏
- 如何用全部大写的名字、年龄和令人难忘的细节介绍一个角色
- 为什么声音、道具和有力的动词应该写进动作描述
- 如何把一份糟糕的初稿改写成能拍出来的动作描述
动作描述写的是我们此刻在银幕上看到和听到的东西，这一课教你把它写好。你会学到剧本动作描述的核心规则：用现在时；只写摄影机能看到、麦克风能听到的东西；段落简短，三到四行；每个角色都要有一个有力的首次登场，名字全部大写，写上年龄和一两个细节。
然后你会写 The Night Ferry 的开场，加入声音和道具，并看到 ScreenWeaver 如何推荐像指南针这样已有的道具，让它们在各处保持同一个名字。最后，一份充满人物前史、内心感受和 “我们看到” 的糟糕初稿，会被逐行改写成一段干净、能拍出来的动作描述，示范如何用画面呈现，而不是用文字交代。
完整文字稿
英语旁白的文字稿。
0:04Action lines are the most important lines in your script, and the most misunderstood. They describe what we see and what we hear, right now, on screen. Everything the audience will experience that isn't dialogue lives here.
0:20Rule 1. Write in the present tense. Not Elias coiled the rope, but Elias coils a rope. The screenplay happens now, while we watch.
0:33Rule 2. Write only what a camera can see or a microphone can hear. Not Elias is tired of his lonely life. A camera can't film that. But he checks his pocket watch, 1202. He unhooks the mooring line. Show the loneliness through what he does.
0:53Rule 3. Short paragraphs. Three or four lines at most. Each paragraph is roughly one image, and white space on the page means rhythm on screen. A wall of text reads slowly and plays slowly.
1:08Rule 4. The first time a character appears, write the name in capitals, with an age and one or two details we'll remember. Elias. 60. White beard. Coils a rope with slow, exact gestures. Maya. 20s. Yellow raincoat. Drags a battered suitcase down the jetty. After that, the name goes back to normal.
1:32Let's write the opening of The Night Ferry. After the scene heading, press Enter. The editor moves to an action line on its own. Rain on black water. A single lamp swings above an old ferry. One image, one paragraph. Then Elias. Then the watch. Then footsteps on the wet planks.
1:53Sounds belong in action lines too. Footsteps on the wet planks. The engine coughs. Then dies. In the next part of Screenweaver, these sounds become sound design. So write them down.
2:06Objects matter as well. Once an object exists in your story elements, like the compass of The Night Ferry, Screenweaver recognizes it while you type an action line, and suggests it. So the same object keeps the same name everywhere.
2:21A last trick. Verbs. Strong, specific verbs make a scene come alive. Not Maya walks to the engine, but Maya steps past him, kneels, and hits it twice in the same spot. Every verb is something an actor, or a model, can perform.
2:39Let's fix a bad action line together. Here's a first draft. We see Elias, who has been the ferryman of this lake for forty years since his wife left, slowly and sadly coiling a rope as he thinks about his daughter. Everything in it is a problem. We see. Cut it. Forty years. His wife. His daughter. Backstory. Not filmable. Sadly. Thinks about. Feelings. The rewrite? Elias. Sixty. White beard. Coils a rope with slow, exact gestures. The loneliness is in the gestures, and the daughter stays a surprise for the end.
3:21One more convention you'll see in professional scripts. Some writers put important sounds and key props in capitals inside the action, like the engine dies, or a brass compass. It's optional, and in ScreenWeaver the object suggestions do that job for you, but if it helps you see the key moments on the page, use it consistently.
3:42Your exercise? Write the action of your first scene. Present tense. Camera only. Short paragraphs and a strong first appearance for each character. Next, characters, dialogue, and parentheticals.