脚本のセリフの書き方：サブテキストとト書き括弧
説明ゼリフではなく、サブテキストのある脚本のセリフを書く方法。役名、ト書き括弧、キャラクターごとの声、そして The Night Ferry の実際の書き直しを紹介します。
このレッスンで学ぶこと
- 役名、セリフ、ト書き括弧がどう連動するか
- ScreenWeaver が既存のキャラクターを提案し、役名とセリフを切り替える仕組み
- ト書き括弧が役立つときと、多すぎると逆効果になる理由
- 説明ゼリフではなくサブテキストを書く方法
- セリフを削り、短く保ち、キャラクターごとに異なる声を与える方法
- トランジションとショットの要素を使うべきとき
このレッスンでは脚本のセリフの書き方を扱います。セリフは、常にセットで動く3つの要素でできています。役名、セリフ、そして時々ト書き括弧（パレンセティカル）です。入力中に ScreenWeaver が既存のキャラクターを提案し、新しいキャラクターをその場で作り、Enter キーで役名とセリフを切り替える様子を見ていきます。
そこから技術の話に入ります。ト書き括弧をめったに使うべきでない理由、2人のキャラクターが時刻のことで言い争っているように見える場面でサブテキストがどう働くか、そして The Night Ferry の説明的な告白が、1つの行動と2語のセリフ「Hi, Dad」（ただいま、父さん）に書き直される過程です。言葉を減らし、セリフを短く保ち、声に出して読み、キャラクターごとに異なる声を与える方法を学びます。最後に、どちらも控えめに使うトランジションとショットの要素、そして1キャラクターに1つの名前というルールを説明します。
全文の文字起こし
英語ナレーションの文字起こしです。
0:04Now the voices. Dialogue in a screenplay is made of three elements that always travel together. The character cue, the dialogue, and sometimes a parenthetical.
0:15Choose character in the toolbar and type the name. Maya. While you type, Screenweaver suggests the characters that already exist. If the name is new, the list offers to create it. Confirm, and Maya is added to your characters. Press Enter, and the editor switches to dialogue on its own.
0:37Type her line. Wait, please. I need to cross tonight. Press Enter at the end of a line of dialogue, and the editor switches back to character, ready for the answer. Elias. No passengers after midnight. Back and forth, like a conversation.
0:56Now the parenthetical. A short note in brackets under the name on how a line is said, or what the character does while saying it. Elias. Sighing. Get in. Don't touch anything. Use them rarely. If every line has a parenthetical, none of them matters. Let the words and the actions carry the tone.
1:19What makes dialogue good? Subtext. People rarely say what they mean. Listen to this exchange. It's two minutes past. That's after midnight. On the surface, they're arguing about the time. Underneath, he's lonely and stubborn, and she's desperate. We understand both without anyone saying it.
1:42Let's rewrite an on -the -nose line. First draft. Maya. I'm your daughter, and I came back because I miss you, and I'm sorry I left. Everything is said, so nothing is felt. The rewrite? Right? She doesn't answer. She sets the compass on the dashboard next to his. Then, only when he says her name, Hi, Dad. Two words do what the long line couldn't, because the audience gets there first.
2:12A good test for any scene. Could the characters say less? Cut every line you can, then put back only the ones the scene can't live without. He'll be surprised how often silence, a look, or an object does the work better.
2:28Keep lines short. Real people speak in fragments. Interrupt each other, and avoid the question. Read every line out loud. If it sounds like a sentence from a book, cut it in half.
2:41And make every character sound different. Elias speaks in short, closed sentences. Long enough. Not tonight. Come on. Maya speaks in questions and half answers. If you cover the names and can still tell who's speaking, your dialogue is working.
3:00Two more elements to use sparingly. Transitions, like fade in, cut to, or fade out, mark the passage between scenes. Modern scripts use very few. A fade in at the start, a fade out at the end. And the shot element, to call out a specific angle, like a close -up on the compass, only when the story depends on it.
3:22One last rule. The same is for places. Write each name exactly the same way, every time. Maya is always Maya. A different spelling creates a different character, and later, a different face on screen.
3:37Your exercise. Write the dialogue of your first scene. Short lines, one parenthetical at most, and at least one exchange with subtext. Next, we'll put it all together. Keyboard only.