Как писать описание действия в сценарии: только то, что видит камера

Расшифровка английского закадрового текста.

0:04Action lines are the most important lines in your script, and the most misunderstood. They describe what we see and what we hear, right now, on screen. Everything the audience will experience that isn't dialogue lives here.

0:20Rule 1. Write in the present tense. Not Elias coiled the rope, but Elias coils a rope. The screenplay happens now, while we watch.

0:33Rule 2. Write only what a camera can see or a microphone can hear. Not Elias is tired of his lonely life. A camera can't film that. But he checks his pocket watch, 1202. He unhooks the mooring line. Show the loneliness through what he does.

0:53Rule 3. Short paragraphs. Three or four lines at most. Each paragraph is roughly one image, and white space on the page means rhythm on screen. A wall of text reads slowly and plays slowly.

1:08Rule 4. The first time a character appears, write the name in capitals, with an age and one or two details we'll remember. Elias. 60. White beard. Coils a rope with slow, exact gestures. Maya. 20s. Yellow raincoat. Drags a battered suitcase down the jetty. After that, the name goes back to normal.

1:32Let's write the opening of The Night Ferry. After the scene heading, press Enter. The editor moves to an action line on its own. Rain on black water. A single lamp swings above an old ferry. One image, one paragraph. Then Elias. Then the watch. Then footsteps on the wet planks.

1:53Sounds belong in action lines too. Footsteps on the wet planks. The engine coughs. Then dies. In the next part of Screenweaver, these sounds become sound design. So write them down.

2:06Objects matter as well. Once an object exists in your story elements, like the compass of The Night Ferry, Screenweaver recognizes it while you type an action line, and suggests it. So the same object keeps the same name everywhere.

2:21A last trick. Verbs. Strong, specific verbs make a scene come alive. Not Maya walks to the engine, but Maya steps past him, kneels, and hits it twice in the same spot. Every verb is something an actor, or a model, can perform.

2:39Let's fix a bad action line together. Here's a first draft. We see Elias, who has been the ferryman of this lake for forty years since his wife left, slowly and sadly coiling a rope as he thinks about his daughter. Everything in it is a problem. We see. Cut it. Forty years. His wife. His daughter. Backstory. Not filmable. Sadly. Thinks about. Feelings. The rewrite? Elias. Sixty. White beard. Coils a rope with slow, exact gestures. The loneliness is in the gestures, and the daughter stays a surprise for the end.

3:21One more convention you'll see in professional scripts. Some writers put important sounds and key props in capitals inside the action, like the engine dies, or a brass compass. It's optional, and in ScreenWeaver the object suggestions do that job for you, but if it helps you see the key moments on the page, use it consistently.

3:42Your exercise? Write the action of your first scene. Present tense. Camera only. Short paragraphs and a strong first appearance for each character. Next, characters, dialogue, and parentheticals.